As Party Season approaches, the
thought of having a discussion with your teenager about alcohol can be a
minefield, but it is important that children are armed with the right
information when it comes to alcohol/sex or drugs. Research confirms that young people drink for
social reasons, and because one of the main drives of adolescence is to form
new social bonds, it is easy to see how drinking alcohol is going to be a pull. No teenager wants the horror of not fitting
in or feeling left out. Alcohol also reduces
inhibitions and helps children enjoy a party and have more fun. Approaching the discussion about Alcohol
needs to tread a fine balance and is a topic which needs re-visiting over the
years.
1. Help them to
make their own choices. Attitudes amongst young people towards alcohol
and drinking have undergone a seismic shift in recent years. Many young people have been brainwashed to
think that the pre-requisite for a Big Night Out involves getting pre-loaded,
and bingeing with the specific aim of getting drunk. So a culture has emerged which believes that:
Drunk = Popular + Fun. So keep reminding
your child to respect their developing autonomy and not feel pressured to
conform in this way.
2. Affirm limits
& boundaries. Help your child to understand that they CAN
discreetly set their own limits and values, moderate drinking AND still have
fun with friends. The bonus of this
approach is that they are not risking ruining their reputation, or getting involved
in risky situations, breaking the law or having detrimental sexual encounters.
3. Make sure they know their facts. Healthy teen development involves risk
taking, experimentation, socialising and pleasure-seeking, so whilst the
accelerator is flat to the floor, our role is to ensure that teenagers are armed
with the correct information and facts on how to practice safe drinking and
stay within unit guidelines.
4. Teens should not drink alcohol before they are 16 according to
current medical research from NIH. The
jury’s still out on exactly how much damage and disruption alcohol does to the brain’s
cognitive/learning capabilities, memory and behaviour whilst it undergoes its
massive refurbishment (neuroplasticity) during adolescence. In short, explain to your child that long term
drinking seriously risks affecting their future IQ.
5. Alcohol is addictive. The
teenage brain is very vulnerable to substance
use and abuse because it adapts to experiences (eg drinking) as
it matures, so the younger they start, and the more occasions they get wasted,
they need to know that they run a higher risk of future alcohol addiction.
6. Alcohol is a depressant & it clouds
thinking. Teenagers need to know all the
adverse effects of alcohol. Studies at
The Society for Neuroscience show that alcohol triggers the release of
endorphins and dopamine, leaving a drinker feeling euphoric. Ethanol, the
active ingredient in alcoholic drinks acts as a stimulant, and in
low doses, reduces feelings
of anxiety, slows you down and reduces inhibitions. However, when over indulging or bingeing, it then acts as a depressant, clouds
thinking and at very high levels can lead to coma. We need to help our teenagers to make links
between their current drinking habits and any adverse physical/mental health
symptoms, eg. Feeling low mood/not sleeping/feeling tired/lethargic and “depressed”
– all of which are consequences of over indulgence.
7. When it comes
to social gatherings at someone else’s house, trust your instincts & check
things out. Parental influence, and the capacity to affirm
boundaries, has been eroded since the advent of social media, where parties can
be arranged without the knowledge or consent of parents. A get-together, with easy access to alcohol
and no supervision, is a potentially lethal combination if things get out of
hand. Often parents can get hoodwinked
into believing that everybody is
going, “I would be the only one not allowed to go if you said No”. Explain to your child that, whilst they are
still under the legal age limit and under your care, you are going to
discreetly check out the lie of the land at the proposed venue, talk to other
parents and then make your decision with your child, based on their protection
and safety. Also, remind them if they
are underage, that if they are asked to take alcohol to a party and they raid
home supplies without your permission, you would regard this as stealing.
8. Hosting a
party for your teenager yourself. This prospect can be daunting for you and
your child. However it is worth spending
time discussing and planning how a party could work out successfully. Although teenagers think they want to be left
on their own, often they are reassured by your (discreet) presence because this
will act as a deterrent to their friends to overstep the mark. Decide how much alcohol is age appropriate
and within guidelines and stick to your plan.
Teenagers do not exhibit the sedative effects of alcohol in the same way
as adults, so it is easy to think they have not had too much. Be aware of contraband being smuggled in (in
plastic water bottles) and make sure that there are no areas in the house where
groups can congregate to share it out.
9. Parents can
have a subliminal and very positive influence just via their own approach to
alcohol. There are no specific norms in
society and families when it comes to acceptability, age appropriateness or
practice of drinking. Because alcohol is
readily available in most homes, parents’ drinking habits, attitudes and values
speak volumes to impressionable teenagers. Role model an approach to your
drinking habits that you would like your child to emulate.
10. Give them information & facts to help
them to take responsibility for themselves. Adolescents need to separate psychologically
from parents in order to become independent, autonomous and self-governing Adults. The road will be a lot smoother if they feel
confident, knowledgeable and aware of limits and risks so that they can think
for themselves and make the right choices. Some parents find it hard to impose structure or boundaries, either
for fear of unpopularity or because of an aversion to confrontation or
discipline. Reassure yourself that boundaries
are vital and the result of no clear limits or safety net is a child who is
unpredictable, anxious, selfish and unable to self-police in other areas in
their life.
Make it
clear that their health, safety and wellbeing is of vital importance to you.
