We teach in a number of leading schools and our March sessions focus
on helping students to approach revision and exam time armed with a clear plan,
plenty of grit, a positive mindset, a tank of self motivation and resilience as
a back-up.
These skills or aptitudes can be developed through self-awareness
and an understanding of how to do it.
We speak to 100s of parents and students whilst delivering our
workshops. What we have noticed in
recent years is the dramatic rise in anxiety, coupled with an inability to
regulate it in functional ways. Anxiety
lies at the core of any adverse behaviours, and parents need to remember that
it is also the precursor to serious mental health decline. So if you are witnessing lethargy, indifference,
panic, rudeness, conflict or withdrawal and you are dreading how to balance
family time, revision and technology use, here are some pointers for you:
1 Let
them have a rest from any discussion about revision at the beginning of the
holiday.
However, do ask them to get their workstation set up, BUT
ideally, not in their bedroom (this needs to be a place for rest, sleep and relaxation). Ask them to locate a place, which is quiet with
no distractions and has enough space to organize their files into piles. This place is then associated only with
revision.
2 Get
them to draw up a timetable, including holidays and other days off.
Having looked at each subject or topic, they need to jot down how many
hours they need to devote to each area and then allocate a spot on their
timetable for each one. They will feel
more optimistic about the marathon once they have a clear path laid out.
3 Encourage them to be realistic.
Setting achievable daily work goals trains the brain to focus on
what they ARE going to do, and not on worrying or ruminating on what they
haven’t or cant do. Achieving what you
set out to achieve boosts levels of motivation and reduces anxiety and
makes the brain focused and engaged for the next day.
4 Ask
them to highlight tricky areas before they struggle.
Rather than spending
hours staring at a topic, stressing out, having a blank distracted mind and achieving
nothing, ask them if they have any trouble spots and discuss an action plan
early on in order to prevent the “I cant do this” from casting a black cloud
over every subject.
5 Intersperse
study with plenty of breaks.
Ideally encourage
revision slots in the morning when the brain is rested and fresh and encourage
short work bursts (30 mins – 1 hour) and plenty of breaks. Physical/outdoor activities boost mental
acumen, focus, retention & motivation levels (get running, walking, biking,
playing with the dog, cooking, drawing – even if it is short 15 minute bursts). End each study session with subjects they are
confident in. And above all have
FUN with family and friends as this boosts happy chemicals, vital for learning. Get playing games together and enjoy
mealtimes chatting and relaxing.
6 Food/Drink – get the fridge and cupboards stocked with good brain food
You are what you
eat/drink. Encourage them to look after their brain from now to exams, it
does not need much sugar, caffeine or alcohol, but it does need lots of calories,
protein and healthy food and water to maintain peak performance.
7 Avoid ANY
screen-based distractions during
working slots
Encourage them
to park their phone/devices in another room and use them as a reward once they
have completed revision for the day.
If wifi is on, and revision slots are interrupted by: You Tube,
Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp, short excursions to Xbox, Minecraft and Gaming
or background TV or music, their brain will be distracted and less captivated
by revision. Work first, Play later. Remind
them that over use (gaming/social media) will leave the brain dull and bored by
work, plus your child will be cross with themselves and take it out on the
family.
8 Sleep
They need at least
9 uninterrupted hours before and after a revision session for the memory to function
and retain information learnt for the day.
If they are going to a party, they should plan to have a break the day after,
particularly if alcohol will be involved.
Leaving devices
outside their room whilst they sleep will boost the brain’s effectiveness.
Ideally they
should give themselves an hour of no screen (inc TV) before they need to be
asleep: use the time to Bath, Read, sort
out their washing (yes – they can still remove dirty clothes from the carpet), listen
to music, chat to family in order to wind down
9 End
each day with a positive.
Ask them every
night what they feel they have accomplished and don’t let them dwell on what
they have not. Acknowledge their effort or their persistence. Remind them that they are developing
effective work habits and self-discipline for life. If they continue to
feel worried, have a look at the Headspace App and make sure they know how to
Breathe properly – this is the most effective strategy to balance levels of
cortisol and reduce anxiety in the moment.
10
Your unconditional love and calm presence counts
for more than you will know.
Having a secure
sense that you are there and gunning for them goes a long way to anchor and
motivate them. Try and keep your own
stress levels down by taking care of yourself and not getting hooked into their
stress. Calmness is contagious, so is
confrontation and anxiety
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